​Hall of Famer Joe Torre was a major league baseball player for 18 seasons and a major league manager for 30 seasons. Torre ranks fifth all-time in MLB history with 2,326 wins as a manager. With 2,342 hits during his playing career, Torre is the only major leaguer to achieve both 2,000 hits as a player and 2,000 wins as a manager.
 
From 1996 to 2007, Torre was the manager of the New York Yankees and guided the team to four World Series championships. He is one of only five managers in history to win four or more World Series titles and one of only two in history to win three titles in a row.
 
When Torre became the New York Yankee manager in 1996 his boss George Steinbrenner had changed managers 21 times in his 23 seasons of ownership.
 
Steinbrenner was an astute businessman but as an owner he attempted to meddle in day to day to day on field decisions, insert himself directly into the locker room, fire those who got him upset and generally take micromanaging to a new level. Torre lasted twelve consecutive successful seasons. In the other twenty five seasons under Steinbrenner no other manager lasted more than three in a row.
 
In his book Ground Rules for Winners Torre provides some valuable tips on "Working for a Tough Boss":
 
"Don’t focus on everything that's wrong with your boss. You can't change him, so don't waste energy complaining about him. You don't have to like your tough boss, but you do have to work with him. Recognize that when you take a job, it's best to accept the whole package. Decide that you can handle his demands, or his distance, or his anger. Don't allow your boss's negative side to bring out your negative side.
 
Be aware of your boss's downside, but don't spend emotional energy worrying about what he might do that might cause you trouble. Put that energy to work to achieve your goals. If he does create problems, deal with them as they come, one problem at a time.
 
Distinguish a boss who is cranky, nervous, interfering, or distant from a boss who is downright abusive. Don't let an unpleasant personality drive you out of a good job. You can cope with a tough boss, though not one who abuses you on a daily basis."
 
Joe Torre was successful with the Yankees when his nineteen predecessors were not with George Steinbrenner because he did not allow Steinbrenner's personality, eccentricities and meddling control his attitude and the way he worked with his players. There was no negative trickle down from Steinbrenner to the team through Torre because Torre responded to Steinbrenner he didn’t react to him.
 
Do you respond or react? Responding in based on thought and keeps you in control. Reacting is based on emotion and causes you to lose control.

​Geno Auriemma is the Head Women's Basketball Coach at the University of Connecticut. His teams have won eleven national championship; the most in the history of college basketball. Auriemma's teams have a record of 188-3 in the last five seasons.
 
Coach Auriemma has the ability to get his players to have proper focus: they focus on what they are doing right now in practice as opposed to worrying about what the ultimate outcome will be.
 
His interaction with future Hall of Famer and All American Rebecca Lobo, who led Connecticut to its first national championship in 1995, is a good example of the proper focusapproach.
 
UConn followed up its surprise run to the Final Four in 1991 by landing Lobo, the top high school player in the country. UConn had modest success in Lobo's first 2 seasons, losing early in the NCAA Tournament in both seasons and finished 2nd and 3rd in the Big East Conference. It was a disappointing start. In his book Geno: In Pursuit of Perfection, Auriemma described working with Lobo to achieve the proper focus:
 
"Just before her junior season begins, I sit her down and I tell her, Whatever you are doing needs to change. You are obsessed with winning a national championship and becoming an All-America, and you know why? Because you are afraid you won't. And because you are afraid you won't, it's paralyzing you when it comes time to make plays. So here's what we are going to do. It's a process that is going to involve the next two years. Understand that whatever happens, you are in the process of becoming all the things you want. Let's stop focusing on the end result and start focusing on what happens every day in practice. Live for the moment and stop worrying about what will happen in the future".
 
"The next season, in 1993-94, we go 30-3. She's a first team All-America. The year after that, we go 35-0, and in the second half of the national championship game she makes every single big shot she needs to make, and she becomes Rebecca Lobo, the symbol for everything that is right and good about women's basketball. Lobo was inducted into the Women's Basketball Hall of Fame as part of the class of 2010."
 
Auriemma removed the stress for Lobo - the kind that comes from a fear of losing, meeting the expectations of others or an overeager appetite to win, by focusing on improvement each day in practice; one day at a time.
 
Long term goals are great but obsessing or worrying about whether or not they will be achieved creates stress which is a distraction from the daily improvement needed to reach your potential.

Sometimes when two people have a conversation, the idea the person speaking is trying to get across is different than the idea the person listening walks away with. This can happen when a coach talks to a player, a supervisor to a team member, a parent to a child or even two friends. The next time you have a conference with somebody ask them sincerely and openly; “What are we taking away from this conversation”. You might be surprised.

A soccer coach once told me that after he has a meeting with one of his players he asks them to go to their dorm room and send him an email detailing what they took away from the meeting. Good communication is clear, concise and compelling. A lack of clarity in a conversation can occur when the words used create emotion or when the words used can be interpreted to mean different things by the speaker and listener.

That is why: Trust is a tricky word. When you tell somebody you have trust issues with them, it can create an emotional response because the person feels their character is being attacked. This is not a good first step to productive communication.

 Trust is also a tricky word because it means different things to different people. When a company or a team tells me they have “trust issues” I don’t know if they are talking about a lack of sincerity, honesty, reliability, integrity, faith or all of the above.

 Coach Wooden listed all of these qualities separately on his Pyramid of Success. He did not use the word Trust.
Rather than making the general ambiguous statement “We have trust issues”, use Coach Wooden’s list to be specific and clear about the challenge at hand.

 1. Is the person sincere? Does this person truly care about your well being or are they just interested in using your talents to get themselves ahead? Can this person be counted on during times of need or do their values blow around in the breeze?

 2. Is this person honest? Will this person do what’s right regardless of the consequences? Are they deceitful sometimes? Do they try to justify dishonest actions because of necessity or what others are doing?

 3. Is this person reliable? Do they do what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it? Can you always count on their best effort?

 4. Is this a person of integrity? Do they have purity of intention? Are they someone who would not do anything demeaning to anybody, anytime?

 5. Do they have faith in you? Do they believe in you?

 Who do you know that you can answer yes to all five of these questions about?
​That’s a person you can trust.

Geno Auriemma is the Head Women's Basketball Coach at the University of Connecticut. His teams have won eleven national championship; the most in the history of college basketball. Coach Auriemma is direct and honest in his communication with his players. In his book Geno: In Pursuit of Perfection, Auriemma described his approach:
 
"I say things to kids they really don't want to hear. In the end, if they look at it, the only reason I'm saying it is because I can see past what they can see. That's what experience is. I tell them, "If you trust me, I can get you where you want to be." It's a tough way to go about it, but it's a lot better than telling them what they want to hear—even if it's not true.
 
Here's what makes it work. On the other side, my players know they can come in here and say, "Coach, you were wrong the other night." And I have to be big enough to tell them, "You're right."
 
Everyone has their own way of motivating their players. I don't want my players to hate me. I want them to hate what I'm asking them to do. If they enjoy everything I'm asking them to do, then it's probably too easy."
 
In Geno, Diana Taurasi, who would lead Connecticut to three consecutive NCAA Championships and become the all-time leading scorer in the history of Women's Professional Basketball, described her first end of season meeting with Auriemma:
 
"In my freshman year, we lost in the NCAA semifinal game against Notre Dame. I played horribly. I shot 1 for 15 from the floor. We had our individual end-of-the-year meetings. I figured Coach was going to say to me, "Hey, you did a really good job this year." Instead, he sat me down and said, "We can't win with you next year. You took no responsibility for that championship game."
 
At the time, I was really angry with him. But you know what? He was right. If he had said to me, "Diana, I know you did your best in that game, its okay," I don't know if I would have been as determined or as hungry the next season. I came out in my sophomore season and had, I think, the best year of my career. We won the national championship.
 
Coach Auriemma isn't for everyone. If you can't take criticism or motivate yourself, go somewhere else. But if you love basketball, there is no other place for you. Especially if you are competitive and you want to be really good. Coach pushed the pedal for four years. And when I look back on it, I'm not just talking about basketball. He made me become a better person. He forced me to become somebody special, and I'll always be grateful. People always wonder why all the UConn players always come back. It's because we have something—somebody—worth coming back for. Thanks, Coach."
 
Coach Auriemma's players know they can rely on him for the truth. Can people rely on you for the truth?

Geno Auriemma is the Head Women's Basketball Coach at the University of Connecticut. His teams have won eleven national championship; the most in the history of college basketball. Coach Auriemma has challenged recruits with a competitive opportunity not promised them playing time or a great experience.
 
In 1991 Geno was able to land the top high school prospect in the country, future Hall of Famer Rebecca Lobo, who would lead Connecticut to a 35-0 season and their first national championship in 1995.  Here's how Lobo described Auriemma's recruiting approach: "He basically said, 'You'll get what you earn. He was more honest with me than anyone else."
 
In 1996, Auriemma was able to sign the USA Player of the Year, Shea Ralph, who would help UConn to another National Championship. Here's how Ralph described Auriemma's recruiting approach: "Well, Coach Auriemma was the only coach that told me if I was really, really good I'd have a chance to play a lot, and if I wasn't, I wouldn't play at all."
 
In his book Geno: In Pursuit of Perfection, Auriemma described recruiting Diana Taurasi who would lead Connecticut to three consecutive NCAA Championships and become the all-time leading scorer in the history of Women's Professional Basketball:
 
"The first time I see her, I know. She has it all—the talent, the confidence, the presence, the toughness. I call her to let her know we are interested, and at first she sounds kind of blasé. She is the best player in the country and she's getting calls from absolutely everybody. I tell her a little bit about our program, and then I say, "Diana, if you work really hard, and do what we ask of you, you have a chance to be really good." All of a sudden, it's like a light switches on. Suddenly she becomes very animated and conversational. Later, Diana tells me she is tired of everyone telling her how great she is and how special she is. "Coach," she tells me later, "you were the first person who didn't guarantee me everything. You were the first person who said I'd have to work to be good."
 
Coach Auriemma's Challenge Don't Promise approach to recruiting is great, whether you are coaching a team or running a business. Sometimes a business will recruit future salespeople, employees or managers with "blue sky" exaggerated, potential future results in earnings or promotions. When recruiting promises don't materialize, disappointment and distrust occur, sometimes with the employee and employer blaming each other.
 
The other negative result of promising instead of challenging is that it can create an entitlement mentality where the player, employee or child expect just to be given certain things not earn them. This outlook does not encourage a strong work ethic.
 
As Abraham Lincoln said: "The worst thing you can do for those you love is the things they could and should do for themselves."