Each day is a unique opportunity to transform our lives into new experiences of personal freedom and excellence with harmony, gratitude, creativity, grace, self-leadership, and truth. This moment on our self-discovery journeys certainly provides its share of uncertainty. Still, we always have more control than we think of how we manage our time, energy, relationships, and thoughts. 

In 1997, renowned spiritual teacher and author Don Miguel Ruiz published “The Four Agreements,” a timeless bestseller that serves as a roadmap to enlightenment and personal freedom. The book, which is filled with invaluable lessons, has positively transformed the lives of millions globally across various disciplines and industries. While Ruiz’s agreements and profound code of conduct are simplistic and practical in theory, their application can challenge our comfort levels, our consistency, and our courage. 

The Four Agreements can empower us to live with greater clarity, purpose, and passion while letting go of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of our joy. The agreements are: 

• Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
• Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to others’ opinions and actions, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. This also includes the voices inside your mind.
• Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
• Always Do Your Best: Your best will change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to unwell. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

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There is rarely clarity in life, but Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements” teaches us to lean into what is while cultivating understanding, perception, and realizing the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves.

​I have come to realize that lived experiences are the best teachers. Sometimes we can become so consumed with yesterday or tomorrow that we neglect the importance of right now. 2021 has taught, inspired, and challenged us to lean deeper into the unknown and venture beyond our comfort zones. This year has led us to be more at peace with stillness, silence, and self-care through each moment of love and joy, pain and adversity.

As we welcome the holiday season and bring closure to this year, we should aspire to incorporate the practice of gratitude into our daily leadership and life toolkit. This act alone can begin to leverage the power of the human spirit while giving a more profound perspective to our own experiences. 

Even when the journey becomes dark and the next step is unclear, there is always a reason to live in grace and gratitude. We just have to discover it, appreciate it, and live it. No matter how dark a day becomes, the sun will always rise tomorrow. As it does so, may we rise with it as well while counting the blessings of our life and the sacredness of our breath. 

Let's cherish the opportunities of today to give thanks. No matter our longevity, the journey is finite and fragile. But we still have time to express our grace and gratitude each day, as if it is our last.

​The path between life and death is dangerously narrow, but we must travel it. Each day we have a unique opportunity to change our mindset, shifting our time, energy, and consciousness towards designing our lives rather than just reacting to life. Life is too short not to go for it and pursue our dreams. None of us knows what the future holds. But we can do something today to cultivate a better tomorrow while being a positive difference-maker in another person's life. We never need all the answers to get started, just the right empowering questions and a mentality to never give up on ourselves.

Our choice lies within, as does our greatness. Most importantly, our dreams lie within, no matter the uncertainty of tomorrow. There are always unseen forces ready to support our dreams and personal growth. To manifest our aspirations into reality, we must engage in consistent action, sacrifice, accountability, perseverance, discipline, and an unwavering conviction to get better and not bitter. 

Grandma's final request was to be a good human being. When we cheat the process of getting better, we cheat ourselves. When we cheat ourselves, we cheat the gift of life. Let's continue to find time on our self-discovery and exploration journey to differentiate between what the world expects of us and what we expect of ourselves.

What we expect of ourselves and our relationship with our minds will always matter most at the end of the day.

​In Bill Russell's 13 years in the NBA (1956-69) his Boston Celtics won 11 championships. For the last two championships (1968 and 1969) he was the player-coach. Sports Illustrated named him "the greatest team player in history."
 
In 2001 Russell with David Falkner, published a fantastic book on leadership, Russell Rules. In his book Coach, Russell defines the difference between a "We Ego" and a "Me Ego":
 
"In 1999, I was asked to speak to the Celtics team, which, at that point, was on a nine-game losing streak and were not playing well as a unit. I began by telling them that despite that so much had been written about me being the most unselfish player, I was the most egotistical player they would ever meet.
 
All kinds of nervous smiles were coming back at me from people who were not sure what was coming next. These smiles disappeared when I said, "Do you know the difference between your ego and mine? My ego is not a personal ego, it's a team ego. My ego demands—for myself—the success of my team. My personal achievement became my team achievement.
 
These talented young players all looked at me with strange expressions on their faces. I could almost read their minds. Here was Bill Russell, the guy with eleven championship rings on his ten fingers, telling them that the only thing that mattered to him was how his team did. But that's exactly what I was saying."
 
 Coach Wooden only recruited people he felt could ultimately become team (We Ego) players.He said: "Working with others makes us much more than we could ever become alone."
 
Individuals can only reach their full potential if the group does well. Being a great salesperson is meaningless if the company goes out of business. Building a "We Ego" team requires humble, transparent leadership and an environment that is collaborative.
 
As Coach Wooden liked to say: "It's amazing how much can be accomplished if no one is concerned with who gets the credit."
 
Including yourself, who on your team has a "Me Ego"? Who has a "We Ego"?

In Bill Russell's 13 years in the NBA (1956-69) his Boston Celtics won 11 championships. For the last two championships (1968 and 1969) he was the player-coach. He led USF to back to back NCAA Championships and followed that up with an Olympic Gold Medal. Sports Illustrated named him "the greatest team player in history." and HBO recognized Russell as "the greatest winner of all time." He played basketball for 21 seasons and won 18 championships.
 
In 2001 Russell, with David Falkner, published a fantastic book, Russell Rules, in which he detailed eleven lessons in leadership. His first rule is "Commitment begins with curiosity".
 
In his book Coach Russell expands on the idea:
 
"Commitment in my mind is the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live their lives regretting the opportunities they have squandered. What differentiates those who see and pursue the power of commitment versus those who can't? One word: curiosity. Curiosity is the oxygen of accomplishment and success.
 
The goal of winning slips away with the loss of curiosity. Though curiosity is a child's possession, an adult can use it consciously as a tool, can develop it in the building of a winning strategy. Good questions are more important than easy answers. The "silly question" is often not silly at all, it's the beginning of a new pathway toward a solution."
 
The leader should encourage and find team members who want to know why and how things work and whether there is a better way. "The only bad questions are the ones that are not asked." Unless you are in the CIA "Need to know" is not a winning strategy. Russell makes this clear in his book:
 
"When commitment is coerced, thinking is not required—just obedience. Curiosity on the other hand, is the arch-stone of that thinking process that leads to doing. Curiosity is connected to doing, to solving, experimenting, trying, failing, and then accomplishing. "How does this work?" "What do I do?" "What happens next?" "What do I do to make this turn out the way I want—or the way you want?" Those are all basic questions that stem from curiosity, but that are also basic to winning."
 
When curiosity stops, progress ends and commitment dies.
 
Do you encourage or discourage the curiosity of others?
 
What are you curious about?

​Tony Dungy was head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers from 1996 to 2001, and head coach of the Indianapolis Colts from 2002 to 2008.
 
Dungy became the first African American head coach to win the Super Bowl when his Colts defeated the Chicago Bears in 2007. Dungy also set a new NFL record for consecutive playoff appearances by a head coach in 2008 after securing his tenth straight playoff appearance. Dungy was the first African American coach of the modern era (joining Fritz Pollard) elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame on February 6, 2016
 
Dungy stresses that coaches are teachers who should put faith and family ahead of football. He encouraged players and staff to bring their families to the practice facility during working hours (ignoring the idea that this would be a distraction). His children often did their homework in his office.
 
He also limited work hours with Mondays and Tuesdays as late nights, Wednesdays, and Thursdays until eight or nine o'clock and going home in the afternoon on Friday. In his book The Mentor Leader, Dungy pointed out that: "Coach Noll always emphasized that keeping ridiculous work hours doesn't mean you'll be successful. After all, he kept reasonable hours and still won four Super Bowls."
 
Dungy did not use profanity, belittle his players, or scream at them, and remained calm when things went badly.
 
Lovie Smith, also African American, coached the opposing team, The Chicago Bears, in that 2007 Super Bowl. In a 2007 interview with Karen Crouse for the New York Times, "Bears Coach Smith reflects on his roots", Smith talked about Dungy's influence:
 
"I think as young coaches coming up in the ranks, a lot of us had a picture of how a coach is supposed to be, how he is supposed to act. And I think what Tony Dungy showed me is you don't have to act that way."
 
In a 2007 Palm Beach Post interview with Hal Habib "On his terms: Colts' Dungy stays true to principles", Dungy expanded on the philosophy Coach Smith and he share:
 
"I really wanted to show people you can win all kinds of ways. I always coached the way I've wanted to be coached. Your faith is more important than your job, for your family is more important than that job. We all know that's the way it should be, but we're afraid to say that sometimes. Lovie's not afraid to say it and I'm not afraid to say it."
 
Tony Dungy is a great role model.
 
What example do you set?

​Nick Saban, the Head Football Coach at Alabama, has coached six teams to National Championships. "Invest your time, don't spend it." is a phrase Coach Saban's father often used that became a cornerstone idea Coach Saban uses to run the Alabama Football program.
 
In his book, How Good Do You Want to Be? With Brian Curtis, Coach Saban expanded on the idea:
 
"Investing time means spending it for a worthwhile purpose: to work toward something, to accomplish something that will help you achieve. We see the difference on the practice field. Some players—or teams—spend two hours in the afternoon doing drills, rehearsing plays, and going through the motions of practice. But others invest their two hours by working hard, correcting mistakes, and improving on each play.
 
Coaching staffs don't always use their time wisely. Some coaches spend time watching film, talking, rehashing already set plans instead of finding solutions to problems or working on specific coaching points that will help players anticipate situations they will confront in the game. It is the quality of time, not the quantity."
 
When you are faced with adversity, your attitude will determine if you invest your time or spend it. In his book Coach Saban gives the example of Bob and Mike:
 
"Take the example of Bob and Mike and how they react to a day's challenges. Their cars needed repair and went into the shop for a week; both must now take the subway to work. Bob sees it as a major inconvenience and gets upset every morning as he takes the train. Mike sees it as an opportunity and catches up on last week's newsmagazines and even makes a few business contacts on the subway.
 
At work, they both submit business proposals for their bosses to review. Neither boss is satisfied. Bob immediately blames his boss, pointing out that "he doesn't know a good proposal when it's right in front of him," and sulks as he attempts to make it better. Mike, however, asks for constructive feedback and sees the evaluation as a chance to improve. He stays late at the office, before catching the train, to create a vastly different, and improved, plan."
 
Investing your time requires discipline and a positive attitude.
 
How much of your time do you invest?

​Nick Saban, the Head Football Coach at Alabama, has coached six teams to National Championships. The following is a summary from The Big Book Of Saban compiled by Alex Kirby, where Coach Saban described "Competitive Character":
 
"Competitive character is the ability to withstand adversities and have the discipline to maintain focus on the next play. Championship teams are resilient. No matter what is thrown at them, no matter how deep the hole, they find a way to bounce back and overcome adversity.
 
We tell our players you have to play for 60 minutes in the game and never look at the score board. That's hard sometimes for fans to understand because that's exactly how they look at the game.
 
When you're in the process of being a competitor, you have to play, play to play to play. You can't let the last play good or bad affect the next play.
 
A team lacking competitive character will melt down psychologically when they have great adversity. One bad play can affect them for an entire game. A team with competitive character reacts with "stuff happens" and goes to the next play undeterred.
 
You have to be prepared to sustain your performance for 60 minutes in the game, and I don't think that's all going to be just about emotion. A lot of that is about competitive character."
 
In his book, How Good Do You Want to Be? With Brian Curtis, Coach Saban expanded on the idea:
 
"There are so many ways in which we hold ourselves back, taking away from our potential successes. Worrying about the score, surrendering to distractions, fearing or dealing with success and failure, being complacent and imposing limitations on ourselves are some of the ways we limit our potential.
 
With competitive character, all of these can be controlled with the proper mind-set. It is natural to be affected by where you are in life, but looking at the score and results can only take away from your competitive spirit. Stay focused on the next play."
 
Competitive character is not just wanting to win all the time. When faced with great adversity, people with Competitive Character have the mental discipline to move on not melt down.
 
How do you teach Competitive Character?

​Nick Saban, the Head Football Coach at Alabama, has coached six teams to National Championships. In his book, How Good Do You Want to Be? With Brian Curtis, Coach Saban talked about how our example is often teaching somebody something:
 
"As coaches, we are teachers, and we teach much more than we ever will know. The young men we come in contact with are at an age where our words and actions help shape their lives. You never know when you are giving an education, and you never know when the lesson learned will be put to work.
 
I believe that leaders and managers need to lead the way, and often that means going beyond talk and into action. One of my favorite sayings is, "What you do speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you say." Actions matter most."
 
Saban grew up in Monongah, a coal mining town in West Virginia of about 1500 residents. His father, Nick Sr., had a service station and a little Dairy Queen restaurant. Nick Sr.served the youth in the seven surrounding coal mining towns in the county by volunteering to coach and create sports teams for youngsters who would otherwise not have had a chance to participate. He also provided them with transportation to and from practices and games.
 
Coach Saban said one of his Dad's favorite quotes was: "No man stands as tall as he who stoops to help a child."
 
In 1998, during their time at Michigan State University, Nick and Terry Saban established Nick's Kids Foundation, in honor of the late Nick Saban, Sr.
 
Nick's Kids Foundation has distributed over $9 million to hundreds of organizations and causes. In addition to many others, the foundation has completed projects including the career tech classrooms at the Tuscaloosa County Juvenile Detention Center, the Tuscaloosa Riverwalk Playground, renovating the STTEP Building of Brewer Porch Children's Center, building 17 Habitat for Humanity homes and the Alberta School of Performing Arts playground. Nick's Kids is also a major donor of the Tuscaloosa All-Inclusive Playground, the Saban Center, the YMCA of Tuscaloosa and provides funding for organizations distributing groceries in response to COVID-19.
 
Coach Saban's father set the right example.
 
What example do you set?