Coach Ed Science
  • Home
  • Intro
  • PS (1-4)
  • PS (5-9)
  • PS (10-14)
  • PS (15-18)
  • PS (19-21)
  • Space Exploration
  • Warriors Hoops
  • Summer Basketball Camps
  • Flying Pumpkins, 2020
  • Literacy
  • #getBETTER Hoops at Home
  • Coach's Corner
  • NOVA Nation
  • Villa Drills
  • Improving Your Shooting
  • Footwork Drills
  • Bball Skills & Drills
  • USA Basketball Tips
  • Things to Ponder
  • Motivation
  • Sportsmanship
  • Thoughts from Paul Harvey
  • Cool Links & Games

Coach's Corner

“It never ceases to surprise me at the infinite capacity of the human mind to resist the introduction of useful knowledge.”
- Thomas Raynesford Lounsbury

Building Real Self-Esteem (Anson Dorrance, Part III)

3/10/2020

1 Comment

 
Picture
Anson Dorrance is the Woman's Soccer Coach at the University of North Carolina. In 42 years, his teams have won 22 National Championships. Coach Dorrance and Coach Wooden both believed that giving undeserved or excessive praise, even if the intentions are good, is counter productive to building real self-esteem in the team member and undermines the credibility of the coach.
 
In his fantastic 1996 book, Training Soccer Champions with Tim Nash, Coach Anson illustrates this idea with a hypothetical story including his wife M'Liss and then four-year-old son Donovan:
 
"My wife and I come home from a long day at work and are very tired. Donovan, our four-and-a-half-year-old son, has just been eating in front of the television, and he decides to leave his dish there and go play in his bedroom. Well, the correct behavior is for M'Liss or me to go find Donovan and say, "Donovan, your dish is sitting there in the living room, and that's not where you leave it. When you are finished eating, you bring it to the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher."
 
Then there is a moment of confrontation with Donovan which is emotionally taxing — in a very small way. He will roll his eyes, object and say he'll do it later. Well, now you're getting a little angry because he's trying to blow you off, and it's not a very pleasant experience. It's not an issue about getting the dish in the dishwasher, but we are not in the mood for this type of dispute. And if we are the sort of parent, educator or coach who doesn't have the strength to constantly have these battles, we pick up the dish and put it in the dishwasher.
 
Rather than confront the issue of strict parenting and having high standards, we go the route of grabbing the dish, throwing it in the dishwasher and ignoring Donovan. And Donovan grows up being the self-indulgent, spoiled individual that has never had to do anything for himself because his parents have done things for him all his life".
 
Today's parents who attempt to "pave the way" for their children's success should consider a quote from Abraham Lincoln: "The worst thing you can do for those you love is to do the things they could and should do for themselves."
 
Coach Anson concluded:
 
"Sometimes people have a misconstrued understanding of how to build self-esteem. The parent or teacher wants to create self-esteem, so they end up praising students or children for things that aren't praise-worthy. It's a hollow kind of praise. We end up developing self-indulgent kids and students that don't have any standards, and we develop parents and teachers that don't have real respect."
 
Who puts the dishes in your dishwasher?
1 Comment
Ferdinard Orumgbe link
8/10/2021 09:31:40 am

I'm glad to have come across this article. There are a lot of people that suffer from <a href="https://www.techfiver.com/toxicwap-movie-download/">fragile sense of self</a>, crippling <a href="https://www.techfiver.com/toxicwap-series/">low self esteem</a>, no self worth and lack self respect. Yes , it’s a symptom of BPD , but some patient are not BPD . My Psychiatrist told me about <a href="https://www.techfiver.com/fzstudios/">mindfulness and self validation</a>. Thanks.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Dave Edinger has been coaching basketball for 37 years at the high school, middle school. and international levels. As a head coach, his teams have won 572 games.

    Archives

    January 2022
    December 2021
    September 2021
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    September 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed